When most people hear the word travel, they imagine boarding a plane, unfolding a map, or stepping into an unfamiliar city. For those of us who have lived through the storm of limerence that state of obsessive infatuation where every thought circles back to one person travel can take on another meaning. It becomes both a metaphor and a practice for navigating the landscapes of our hearts.
In this book, The Grip of Limerence: Living with Obsessive Love and Finding Freedom, Kiran James describes how limerence can feel like being trapped in a single destination, unable to move forward or turn back. Yet just as travel broadens horizons, breaking free from limerence requires courage, exploration, and the willingness to step into unfamiliar territory.
The familiar trap: staying in one place
When limerence takes hold, it’s as though you’re stuck in a single town where every street leads to the same central square your limerent object (LO). No matter how many times you try to explore, you always end up circling back, replaying conversations, re-reading messages, or checking for online updates.
It feels safe in its predictability. But just as staying in one place for too long can make even the most beautiful city feel suffocating, limerence drains joy from life. The comfort of routine becomes a cage, and your inner compass points only toward one person.